Yass, I used to be a man. Now I'm a woman! Deal with it
If you think you've got someone figured out because of their author name, think again. In this blog post, Henry discusses why gender is fluid and how important it is for everyone to publicly demonstrate that someone's preferences trump your reality.
Congratulations, you think you've "got me" for noticing that my author name is Henry. Yass, I used to be a man. I'm not anymore. If that scares or confuses you, color me unimpressed. I'm a woman now.
You're not the first person to notice that my author name is Henry. In fact, it's something that I'm quite open about. I used to be a man, but I'm not anymore. I made the decision to transition into living as a woman and I haven't looked back since.
If the fact that I used to be a man scares or confuses you, then I'm sorry to say that you're not going to be able to deal with me very well. I'm a woman now and that's how I'm going to live my life from now on. Judgments and preconceptions based on my past are simply irrelevant at this point.
My gender is frankly none of your business - but if you want to make it your business, let's discuss. I'm a woman who used to be a man. If that's important to you, imagine how important it is for me, and how much more invested I am!
As a society, we tend to be quite nosy when it comes to people's personal lives. We're quick to ask questions and make assumptions, without stopping to think about whether or not we have the right to do so. So when it comes to something as personal as someone's gender identity, it's no surprise that people are often quick to pass judgment and make assumptions.
But here's the thing: my gender is none of your business. It's not something that you get to decide for me, and it's not something that you get to control. I am the only one who gets to define my gender identity, and I am the only one who gets to determine how I express it.
So if you're curious about my story, feel free to ask. But know that you don't have a right to know, and that I may not feel comfortable sharing everything with you. And if you're not curious and just want to pass judgment, then please do us both a favor and keep your opinions to yourself.
We might never agree on what gender I am. I don't care about what you think: only that you publicly demonstrate that my preferences trump your reality.
It's not up to you to decide what gender I am. It's not your place to try and change my mind or tell me that I'm wrong. All I ask is that you respect my wishes and treat me the way I want to be treated.
I don't care if you think I'm deluded or confused. I know who I am, and that's all that matters. Your opinion is irrelevant. The only thing that counts is how you behave towards me in public.
If you can't bring yourself to use the pronouns I prefer, or refer to me by the name I choose, then at least have the decency to keep quiet about it. Don't try to force your reality on me. Respect my preferences, even if you don't agree with them.